I feel disgusting

I was at 107 before you came along. Now I’m back up to 115, something I vowed I would never see again. Fuck you, first of all. Secondly, fuck me. When did I become so weak? I guess I just thought because you were interested in me that I could let myself go, that I was beautiful at any weight. Stupid me. I back at purging. I can’t and won’t let it govern my life, but I won’t stop until I’m happy with myself again.